How Had I Forgotten?

     The road is not always the kindest of mistresses. Sometimes she's a cold hearted lying cheat. For the most part, however, it is at her breast where I find my home. My peace is here, where anything can happen. There is a limitlessness to this ocean of people.
     I'm forever asked where I'm going, with little more than a shrug for an honest answer, "onward." Where am I going? The man with the plan is the only one with a clue. He's driving this ship, in just along for the ride. You want answers, that's who you gotta ask. I'm not pressing for answers much these days. I'm perfectly content to live on faith. Its just who I am when I'm traveling.
     How had I forgotten? Note to self: Never again remove yourself so fully from who you know you are.

Another Turn of the Wheel

     As I circle around the sun, my learning comes in spiral layers, venturing ever deeper as does my understanding. Lessons from long ago resurface, to be reapplied in new ways. I'm given new uses for old tools....
      Being on the road reminds me of why my soul suffered so while I lived inside, shut away from the world. I crave adventure, and excitement, while simultaneously having an overwhelming need for stability. Maybe I need my own bus, full of art supplies. But I KNOW I need balance. And honesty with myself in order to find and maintain such a thing.
      I'm still not sure what it is that makes me happy. I've visited that place, but I'm not sure I've ever lived there, although I've convinced myself otherwise many times.... How do I define what happiness is? What constitutes such a thing? I need to be part of my community. I need to serve an active role for the benefit of others. I need to have a livelihood to the benefit of myself so I'm not a drain. I need excitement, adventure, and stability.... Highly conflicting things, it would appear. I need a lot more music. To create. To love. To dance. To be free of abuse. I need room to grow. And I want to come home more than to have one. I'll figure it out. If I learn to know myself, I'll recognize the answer when it comes.
    And although I rarely speak of it, I want to serve God in whatever ways I'm called to. But more and more, when I hear the calling, I'm just called to be myself. To forgive myself for what I am, because its what I'm meant to be. To allow myself to be moved to action for His will.  I believe in many things, that can be defined in many ways..... I am a child of the universe.....
       How are we walking each other home when none of us know the way? Pretty amazing, I think. Just follow your feet and trust your faith.

On the road again, store and all

     It's nothing new. It's nothing I haven't done, traveling. But now, balancing my store from the road is an additional element, and that is very, VERY new. We shall soon see how well I walk the narrow slack line life has set before me.
     Life sometimes feels lonely, but in truth, I know ill never be alone. Amazing people surround me as soon as the wrong ones are removed from my life. While I may at times experience homelessness, I've just got too many places to go. Angels are real but they're just regular folks walking around. Unfortunately some folks seem utterly demonic at times too. I thought I could be safe in a house. But it wasn't a home.
     It's never time for giving up but sometimes it IS time for trying something new.
     Will I ever put down roots? Tune out next time for more of this adventure. Pictured: selfie, backpack, my entire store in two bins and two boxes, my window views in the short bus.