Social Media Networks Explained

     Are you confused by all these different social media sites, and how each one is used? Not sure which new network is right for you? Fret not, social padwan, we've got you covered with some helpful descriptions of the most popular social media sites, and what it'll take to make it on each one. (Nevermind the fact that I'm blogging because I've obviously failed, ok, the insight is 100% still valid!)
     Facebook: Your Grandmother's Social Media Network
     You are familiar with this one. Look up your friends, add them, and begin interacting immediately! No special gimmicks required.  It doesn't matter what you're into, there are at least a bazillion groups full of other people to talk to about it with. (Just remember though, your grandmother is watching).
     Snapchat: An Excuse To See Bewbs, with Filters
     Now I realize that many people probably use it in many ways, but the whole 'photo disappears 5 seconds after you've sent it's thing makes this the safest way to send your nudes. If you like to flaunt it, or just want to see your friends makes, this might be the app for you. How to schmooze your friends into sending you naughty pics once you've downloaded it tho, is up to you.
     This app is ALSO great if you've ever fantasized about being a dog, rabbit or deer, or if you have a thing for flower crowns and such. This network pairs well with cappuccino.

Twitter: Fighting With The Famous
     Do you live to argue? Do you often wish you give people a piece of your mind? Are you in a dependant relationship with your phone, and want to take out your aggression in famous people? Then Twitter for you, just may be a dream come true. If you're mildly funny, or extremely bored, this app might offer you a home on the web.

     Instagram: Pictures Mostly (with a side of T&A)
      This is a slightly more personal, or professional place, depending on how you use it, and it seems like a pretty even split. Whether you're posting pictures of your baby, or pictures of your latest products, the chances of people reading your text lowers dramatically. While that might make for a nicer atmosphere overall, with less fighting or trolls than you might find on Facebook, people might be mildly annoyed by memes here unless it's your original content. There are plenty of places for memes, this just doesn't seem to be one of them. Your half naked selfie, however? Practically belongs here amidst all of the other wannabe Instagram models.
     Tumblr: We Get It, You're Popular
     Honestly, I'm still stumped by this one. Done people have a lot of reblogs and 'notes' (likes and comments) and others, like myself, post only to hear crickets. If you happen to figure out how to actually engage with others in a way more substantial than spectatorship, let me know.
     Pinterest: Its More Like a Search Engine
     But for people that are too stubborn to use actual search engines. Like Tumblr, I haven't quite nailed putting myself out there on this app just yet. I've experienced more success than I have with Tumblr, however. Apparently, nobody wants to see anything less than a catalog quality photo here, and it's mostly for perfect shiny people. No poor resolution party pics to be found here, folks, it's all business. While you'll find a plethora of interesting project how-to's, whether or not you'll actually be able to pull them off, is another story entirely.
 

     These are the social media networks I've tried, some however recently. If you have comments about any of these, or some I may have left out, feel free to enrich my (and others') lives with your wisdom. I hope you found this mildly humorous, and maybe a little helpful even.